Lessons

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Pants: Zara (similar here and here); Top: Dezzal; Jacket: thrifted (similar here and here)

The other day while watching Friends, I stumbled upon an episode where Phoebe discusses how weird and grown-up it is to see Ross and Rachel with a baby. It was something I could totally relate to because there are so many things I find myself discussing or thinking about, that when I stop and reflect, seem so grown up, when I don’t really feel like an adult at all! The fact of the matter is, I don’t really think there’s a magical, coming-of-age moment where one suddenly feels grown up.

So what does being a grown-up really mean? I don’t think it’s losing the essence of one’s youth, but rather life lessons you learn through the years. So while reflecting on this, I thought about the 5 lessons I’ve learned that have shaped me to be the person that I am at 25, someone slightly different from who I was at 16:

1. Stop caring about what other people think.
I’ve always been a fairly headstrong person, but as with all teenagers, I wanted to fit in. Now I realize it’s the things that make me different that I love most about myself. Screw fitting in, how is that interesting?

2. Cut out toxic people.
The saying ‘birds of a feather flock together’ doesn’t come out of nowhere. I truly believe that you, and the state of your existence is highly influenced by who you surround yourself with. If those people are positive and lift you up, then you will be infinitely happier. Cutting out toxic people, those who have nothing good to say, have little or no ambition, and have an overall negative disposition will only hold you back in life. Surround yourself with the people that push you to be the best version of yourself.

3. Respect and treasure your parents, they are infinitely wise.
To me, this is the most important lesson of all. I still remember the first moment I thought, ‘wow, my mom was right about this’. It was during my first year of university, and over time, those moments have occurred more frequently than I’d like to admit. It’s made me realize that, although I didn’t see it in high school, my parents have been right 99% of the time, and most importantly, they are my greatest allies. They will always be my rocks.

4. Be kind.
It takes no talent guys. None, and it will take you the furthest of all. And don’t dole out kindness based on someone’s position in the world, because then you’re just an asshole. Treat people, all people, the way you’d like to be treated.

5. Network, network, network.
While I was in Conde Nast College, one of the editors from Vogue came to speak to us. She told us about how she met Mario Testino in her 20s, and decades later they’re still friends. At the time, I remember being so impressed at this unlikely connection. However, over the last two years, I’ve seen how often that happens. Think about the people you know; when you’re starting out your careers, you’re all in the same place, but years from now, people will be doing all sorts of cool things. When I think about my personal circle, I have friends who work in the film industry, in fashion houses, and in big PR agencies, who just a few years ago had absolutely no idea what they were doing. And from a professional standpoint, what do you think get’s the job? A resume coming into a general inbox or a personal connection?

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54 Comments

  1. November 12, 2016 / 9:00 pm

    These are all such fabulous lessons, Siffat. I agree with each and every one of them. The networking story at the end was so interesting. You’re right, years from now people all of us know WILL be doing really awesome things!

  2. November 13, 2016 / 8:10 am

    I’m loving the gold button up details of your pants! You always have such chic outfits!

    xoxo Rina
    http://www.andshedressed.com

  3. November 13, 2016 / 8:37 am

    I loved this post and the lessons you “learned” because I guess that’s the main and best thing to know! Beautiful as always!

    http://violettedaily.com

  4. Amy Arnold
    November 13, 2016 / 12:09 pm

    I think you are so right when it comes to this list. I have definitely grown to respect and appreciate my parents more and more and care way less about what others think. These pants are so cool! I love the detail and how they move in the photos.

    Amy Ann
    Straight A Style

  5. November 13, 2016 / 2:12 pm

    Love love this post babe!! All about growing up!! love your work always girl!!

  6. November 13, 2016 / 5:40 pm

    I love these suggestions, they are so dead on. Growing up is such a process and these tips save a lot of agony. Xo, Ellese

    Rock.Paper.Glam.

  7. November 13, 2016 / 6:59 pm

    I love the lessons especially #1!! Its hard not to care but it’s important to make an effort!

    Sabrina | Gypsy Tan

  8. November 13, 2016 / 9:04 pm

    Siffat, I really love your post, I mean your lessons. You’re so right about everything especially about parents. They are wise, they see things that we didn’t notice. Your look is very beautiful
    Have a nice day
    xoxo

    http://www.stayclassi.com

  9. November 13, 2016 / 9:58 pm

    I completely agree with everything you’ve said. I’ve cut out toxic people from my live and noticed the difference it made.

    http://www.mydailywear.co.uk

  10. November 13, 2016 / 10:11 pm

    Such an unbelievably gorgeous gal! x

    adelelydia.blogspot.com

  11. Lucy Mitchell
    November 14, 2016 / 12:48 am

    Great outfit. love the colours
    Sunset Desires

  12. November 14, 2016 / 1:14 am

    I totally agree with you! I love being kind to others. I believe kindness can take you anywhere.
    As for your outfit,
    I love it! Xx, Raysa

  13. November 14, 2016 / 8:43 am

    I would definitely agree with all of these! Great post! And oppss I love your outfit, you look so good. :*

    xoxo, Katrina
    katrinaisha.wordpress.com/2016/11/09/wearing-black-fab-and-never-boring/

  14. November 14, 2016 / 11:05 am

    Love this post! I agree with your definition of grown-up! You can keep your “young spirit’ and be a grown-up!
    In my 20’s I also learnt to stop caring about what other people think it was very hard because I was very insecure (still are sometimes) but you can really start to live your life once you do that. In my late 20’s I cut all toxic people and wow that felt so GOOD! You don’t realize they are toxic until you cut them off. Then you feel much happier and lighter! My husband always tells me you’re the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. I try to remember that and stay with positive, ambitious, honest and happy people.
    Concerning Networking I can’t agree more with you. However I love when networking is genuine, too many time I met people that are just networking in case they need you someday but don’t really care about you.

    Love your vintage denim jacket.

    Love,

    Aurelie | http://www.surface85.com

  15. November 14, 2016 / 12:01 pm

    Oh you are so right! It’s part of our lives to grow wiser and learn from our experiences, good and bad.
    Inspiring post, it really makes you think 🙂

    http://thewonderfashion.blogspot.com

  16. November 14, 2016 / 12:17 pm

    Okay I am SO obsessed with this outfit on you, my girl! Nailed it. And I couldn’t agree more with these tips, particularly #1 and #2! I struggled with ensuring I did these a few years back and now, I am so glad I did it!

    Ashleigh x
    http://www.ashleighdmello.com

  17. November 14, 2016 / 1:51 pm

    Love all these lessons–definitely all things I have learned getting older! Especially being kind–it’s pretty incredible how contagious kindness can be!

    http://www.rosyoutlookblog.com

  18. November 14, 2016 / 4:09 pm

    Absolutely loving everything about this post! xx

  19. November 14, 2016 / 4:17 pm

    Lovely post as always doll! Being kind and focus on connections are both key! To always put out positive energy and support people around you. So true that relations you have now can be so important later for your career as well! Xx

    http://www.thefashionfolks.com

  20. November 14, 2016 / 4:49 pm

    Such a great look my dear, you look fabulous in blue too! I really enjoyed reading this post! As soon as I cut out toxic people from my life, I felt such a big relief! And when I released myself of the fear of what other people think (still working on this), I felt so free and many things in my life fall into place! 🙂
    Thanks for sharing and have a great week!
    xo
    Stella
    http://www.stellaasteria.com

  21. November 14, 2016 / 5:16 pm

    I agree with everything. Number 2 really resonates with me though. It’s very easy to go with the flow with the romantic idea that we can all be friends. However, we become like the seven people that we spend the most time with. So we better make careful choices.

    LUXESSED

  22. November 14, 2016 / 6:47 pm

    those are the coolest pants ever! I am obsessed with your awesome outfit!

    kelseybang.com

  23. November 14, 2016 / 7:49 pm

    I love this post, especially the part about our parents, soooo trueee, in my 20s when my Ma said a lot of things about life, friendships, money, I was like ‘whatever duude’, but now I see she was so right…its something I need to tell her actually…And yes as you grow up you realise with friendships that its quality not quantity, you realise its not about winning some b.s popularity contest…your outift is super cool, love the nautical-esque trousers. Have a great start to your week (:

  24. November 14, 2016 / 8:33 pm

    Wow I can totally relate to these especially the networking and not caring what other people think 🙂 you look great as always btw xx

  25. November 14, 2016 / 9:19 pm

    Girl, you have such great style! I love the way you mix such interesting pieces together in a minimalistic way, never dull nor boring, very inspiring! That blue velvet blazer looks amazing on you and so luxe, perfect for the season. I really couldn’t agree more with you about all things you’ve shared here. Being and networking go hand-in-hand and like you’ve mentioned, most of the time it’s those connections that get you into the door and into great opportunities! Thanks so much for sharing, beauty, and I hope you have the most amazing week ahead!

    XO,

    Jalisa
    http://www.thestylecontour.com

  26. November 14, 2016 / 10:52 pm

    Such an accurate post! The ability to stop caring about what others think has been such a great part of being in my 20’s. Also, I’m loving your pants here. Such a fun piece, those buttons are great!

    Kathryn • simplykk.com

  27. November 14, 2016 / 11:00 pm

    Such wonderful lessons! I certainly agree networking is a HUGE part in growing up and getting to where you want to be.

    Also love your outfit!x

    TOUCHOFGUCCI // BLOGLOVIN 

  28. November 15, 2016 / 12:36 am

    Cutting out toxic people is so important, it took me years to learn that lesson, and absolutely agree about the connections.
    Nina
    Nina’s Style Blog

  29. November 15, 2016 / 1:11 am

    I definitely follow the first four and the last tip seems so obvious. But the example you gave is so fresh. Thanks for sharing!

    xx Yasmin
    http://banglesandbungalows.com

  30. November 15, 2016 / 7:19 am

    ahahh Honestly there are tons of other blogs talking about what’s it feel like to be a grown up or what do they learn from, idk, the past 5 years? But this piece I really agree with cus maybe we are of similar age, or maybe just I feel exactly the same! Btw, you have someone from Vogue came to your collage and gave a talk?! That’s so cool!

    xx Margaret
    http://www.maleemaleehong.com | http://www.facebook.com/maleemaleehong

  31. November 15, 2016 / 10:11 am

    I did #2 and it was the best thing I ever did in my life. Toxic people will try to hurt you, and you don’t need them in your life. I used to have friends that envied everything I did and questioned my every move. ‘Where did you find money to go summer holidays’? ‘How is it that you are so happy with your man? Don’t you ever fight?’ ‘How you can afford to buy so many clothes/shoes/cosmetics’? Well, I work hard, my fiance does two jobs so we can afford to do these things so I don’t need people asking me and questioning everything. It was ‘negativity and only negativity’. I don’t need this, I want only supportive friends and people who love me and will not judge me. Thank you for writing this, so helpful! x

    Yiota
    PinkDaisyLoves

  32. November 15, 2016 / 10:37 am

    I absolutely agree with your definition of “grown up”. Actually, sometimes we need to stop and think about these kind of things, so we can keep the focus on what really matters.
    Enjoy your week dear.
    lefashionaire.com

  33. November 17, 2016 / 8:23 am

    This is true, and in the real wirld it is all about networking. I have been thinking and writing about these similar things, so this is timely. Great photos — I love those pants so much! x/M