6 Tips To Help You Practice Self-Love

Skirt: C/Meo Collective; T-shirt: Prince Peter; Bag: Zara (similar here and here); Shoes: Pairs in Paris (similar here and here)

Self-love and confidence is a tricky subject. I often get DMs on Instagram about tips on confidence and self-love, so today, I wanted to dedicate a post to this topic. First things first, what is confidence and self-love? I believe it’s being your own biggest cheerleader while embracing your flaws. It’s also a conscious choice you make every day. It isn’t something you work towards obtaining once and effortlessly have for the rest of your life. You form habits to promote self-love that you practice every day, similar to how you may practice a strong skincare regiment or nourish your body with great food everyday! You don’t obtain a fit physique or great skin, and then forget about it. You’d just go back to square one.

If you’ve been following my blog and Instagram, you’ll know that I’m big on self-improvement. I’m constantly reading and employing new techniques to better myself. But I do that while being fully comfortable and confident in my own skin. I’m proud of who I am as a person, but as humans, we always have room to improve. So without further ado, here are 6 things I consistently do to practice self-love.

Prioritize Happiness
Over the past while, I’ve realized that the key to success is happiness. Success isn’t material pursuits, it isn’t approval from others. It’s doing what makes you happy. For me, that means following my heart and making an effort to do things that put a smile on my face. It can be as small as enjoying a cup of bulletproof coffee in the morning, watching my favourite movie (Kung Fu Panda, if you’re wondering), or getting my endorphins going with a great workout class. And sometimes it’s bigger things like traveling. Point is, find what makes you smile, and do more of it.

This also means finding a career that you love. I read somewhere that 1/3 of your life is spent working. If you hate your job, then you hate 1/3 of your life, and that’s too big a price to pay. I’m lucky to work for myself and have a job that I wouldn’t give up for the world, and understand that not everyone is like this. But, if you have a passion, then at least pursue it as a side-hustle or hobby to see where it takes you! Life is too short to have a job that makes you miserable.

Positive Self-Talk
One of the most toxic things you can do for yourself is indulge in negative self-talk. I decided long ago to thwart any kind of negative self-talk. One thing that’s really contributed to a positive self-image is the Five Minute Journal. Because of it, I practice gratitude and write a positive affirmation about myself every day. Another thing I’ve found to help form habitual positive self-talk is books like The Universe Has Your Back, The Secret, and Awaken The Giant Within. All three of these books (amongst many others), have had a huge role in my journey to self-love.

Comparison is the Thief of Joy
When I was younger, I remember comparing myself to my friends. I’d wonder why my body was different, why math didn’t come easily to me, why I couldn’t run faster. However, I made an active effort to stop comparing myself to others in college, and instead, allow myself to be inspired. For example, if a friend of mine was doing really well in school, I’d take note of how she studied instead of thinking ‘oh, I wish I was as smart as her’.

Social media is a space that often puts us in a position to compare ourselves to others. You may feel envious of a content creator who travels the world, has a great body, or has a very successful brand. But instead of thinking ‘God, I’ll never have a body that nice’, think about the work that person might be putting in to obtain that body. Allow it to inspire you to work on your own body! And most importantly, know that social media is someone’s highlight reel. Everyone has issues that they don’t share on Instagram. Focus on the positives of your life and humanize people you may be envious of.

I believe that gossiping also goes hand in hand with this. Over the past couple of years, I’ve made an active resolution to not indulge in mindless gossip. The thing with gossip is that it roots from our own insecurities. You may put someone else down, but the reason behind that is because it may be a trigger point for you. I highly recommend the book Judgement Detox by Gabrielle Bernstein if you’re looking to eliminate gossip from your life.

If you’re in an environment where gossip is commonplace, try to introduce an interesting topic that may steer the conversation away to something more positive. Maybe share a great book you read or podcast you listened to. Or even a cute dress you want to buy! Point is, always try to be a ray of light.

Self-Care
You guys may already know that I have a pretty intense morning routine. I like to wake up early, meditate while drinking lemon water, journal, enjoy a bulletproof coffee, work out, and indulge in a lengthy skincare routine. My morning routine is a form of self-care. I start my mornings off on a positive note which helps me kickstart the rest of my day.

Self-care is the most basic building block towards self-love. Pamper yourself – you deserve it. Treat yourself to an amazing massage, have a bath, indulge in a daily skincare routine, eat well, read great books, work out, etc. You can’t bring your A game if you don’t give yourself the love and care you deserve.

If It’s Not A ‘Hell Yes’, It’s A No
This is a biggie. My mantra in life is ‘if it’s not a hell yes, it’s a no’. Thankfully both my mom and dad have very strong personalities, which has played such a huge role in how I approach life. However, learning to flex my ‘no’ muscle is something that I work on every single day. For a long time, I’d give in to peer pressure for things that I didn’t really want to do, but over time, I stopped caring about what others thought about me. I wanted to be true to myself and live a life that made me happy, not others. And if that means I’m ‘not cool’, I’m totally fine with that. I dance to the beat of my own drum, and you should do. Don’t do things to make others happy if you feel like you’re making yourself unhappy in the process.

Eliminate Negative Energy
Another big one. I’ve spoken about this before, but I genuinely refuse to surround myself with negativity. I strongly believe that you’re a product of your surroundings, and if your surroundings are negative people, media, and habits, you will be exactly that: negative. And negative people are too insecure to practice self-love.

Think about your surroundings and how they serve you. Are you constantly exposing yourself to negative media? This could be in the form of books, movies, or TV shows. Sure, indulge here and there if you love a good drama. But remember, you soak up that energy. Also, did you know that watching a scary TV show or movie raises your cortisol and contributes to aging? NO THANKS.

Think about your relationships. Are they positive? Do they bring you joy? Do they uplift you? If not, it might be time to re-evaluate. You are a product of the 5 people you surround yourself with. Choose wisely. If you want to practice self-love, make sure your loved ones do too.

I hope you guys found this post helpful! I’d love to know what you guys do to practice self-love!