We all start somewhere, right?
I’ve had an interesting relationship with fitness. I was never athletic. I’ve always been injury-prone. And throughout high school and university, I was the furthest thing from ‘healthy’. In high school, thanks to a fast metabolism, I could get away with eating what I wanted, but in university, it all caught up to me. By the end of freshman year, I’d gained 15 lbs. I didn’t realize how bad it was until I saw my grandma, who told me in her sweet but frank way ‘I remember when you were younger and used to get modelling offers’. LOL OUCH.
So I fell into the abyss of fad diets. Losing loads of weight only to gain it all back. When it comes to diets, I’ve done it all. No carbs, no fat, counting calories like my life depended on it, starving myself. At one point for a week, I would eat nothing all day, and then eat 1 bar of chocolate at night. My rationale was that because my calorie count was so low, I would lose weight, plus what did it matter what I ate? Sounds healthy, right?
Of course after a couple of weeks of eating like this, I would give up and binge. And the binging periods were just as horrifying. I’ve sat and consumed an entire XL pizza from Pizza Pizza on my own. I’ve eaten an entire cake. I’ve inhaled 3 small tubs of Ben and Jerry’s in one sitting. I would begin eating, and once I started, feel so guilty that the only way to quiet my mind was by eating more. It was a really ugly cycle. It’s honestly really hard to write about.
Then, January 2013, I looked in the mirror, and felt like I’d reached my rock bottom. I was my heaviest ever. I had gained 25 pounds since high school. And the thing is it wasn’t about the number on the scale. I felt awful. Lethargic, heavy, and frankly, ugly. And up until that point, I’d never felt ugly.
So that was the day I decided to make a change. The problem was I had no idea where to start. The only workouts I’d done up until that point were:
- running (which I hated with a passion)
- elliptical (boring and unsustainable)
- hand weight circuits (repetitive and boring)
I figured there had to be something out there that I would enjoy. So I tried a bunch of things from yoga to Leandro Carvalho’s Brazilian Butt Workout. I finally landed on Pilates when I found a Youtube video by Cassey Ho, founder of Blogilates. I remember trying the first few workouts and not being able to do anything. I couldn’t even do a single pushup on my knees, and doing more than 10 lunges would wind me. So I downloaded her beginner’s workout plan and tried that. I did it every single day. Then, when I felt a little stronger, I followed her monthly plans using modified versions of each workout. I also used her recipes. I started understanding the basics of nutrition and fitness. And slowly, I was noticing little changes in my body. I was losing weight, I was getting stronger, I had more energy.
It took an entire year, but towards the end of 2013, I felt like I was in my best shape. And so I continued what I was doing until the summer of 2014, when I was accepted into Conde Nast College and left for London. Being in a new city and a new school put fitness at the tail end of my priority list.
And this attitude continued when I returned back to Toronto to start my first job. I knew I needed to get back into working out, but I was so bored of Blogilates, and it was so much easier to order takeout than cook a meal. So I started a yo-yo relationship with the gym. I’d be consistent some weeks and on other weeks I’d completely fall off the wagon. The gym was something I dreaded and put off right until the last minute (like I’m talking 8pm at night). I found every excuse in the book to not work out and cook.
In the middle, I started enjoying working out again when my brother started training me. He’s really fit and had me lifting weights and giving me customized workouts which I really liked. But I’d fall off the wagon again when he wasn’t around.
In 2017, I got to a place again where I was really unhappy with how I was feeling. So I thought I’d give Classpass a try. I’d heard such great things about it. Plus, I’d gone to a few spin classes in London and loved it. I thought maybe classes would be the way to go for me. And this is when everything changed.
In short, I fell in love with group classes. I loved the energy, I loved the feeling of community, and working out with other people made me feel like I had to put in my 100% to keep up. Also, since I’d paid for the classes, I couldn’t just cancel last minute, which kept me accountable and consistent.
For a long time, the only classes I did were spinning and Pilates. I’d always been curious about boxing but was too scared and intimidated to try it until one of my friends, a personal trainer, shared their own experience with me. She told me she’d felt the same way when she’d started, but that everyone starts somewhere. Honestly, it was just so logical that I realized that I was being ridiculous. So I signed up for boxing, went to my first class, and the rest is history. Fast forward two years, if you watch my Instagram stories, you’ll know that my weekly boxing class is a non-negotiable for me. Funny how things work out.
It’s been 2 and a half years now since I fell in love with health and fitness. Since then, I’ve consumed every nutrition book I can get my hands on, researched every wellness trend that I see, and find joy in working out. Most importantly, I feel like I have a harmonious relationship with my body, and understand the concept of balance. If you’re new to fitness, are looking to make a lasting change but don’t know where to start, here are some things that really helped me:
- Stop taking blanket advice about fitness. Just because your best friend loves to run doesn’t mean you should automatically love it too!
- Instead find what you love. Try every class in your city. I promise you, there is something out there for you
- In terms of nutrition, stop categorizing foods as good or bad. Instead, see what you can add to your plate instead of subtracting. Eat your sandwich, but maybe you can pile on greens on the side. Listen to this podcast episode with Jordana Hart, Nutritionist and Founder of @ihartnutrition, who gives some excellent advice on this
- Read Body Love by Kelly LaVeque. It’s a great book for anyone who’s looking to understand more about a sustainable and healthy way to eat
- Know that healthy food can taste good. I swear to you, I never thought it was possible, but I experimented and learned to make the most delicious salads and smoothies
- Read labels before you buy them. If you can’t pronounce an ingredient, there is no reason you should consume it
- Starving yourself is not the answer. Listen to this podcast episode with Dr. Natalie Mulligan, an eating disorder expert, who breaks down why this is so terrible for you
Most importantly, learn to love your body and stop punishing yourself if you ‘fall off the wagon’. If you mess up at one meal, it’s just one meal! Eat healthier the next time!
I’d love to hear your fitness journeys or if you struggle with health and fitness currently.
PS – if you enjoyed this post, check out my experience doing a 21 day detox and how I broke my nighttime dessert habit.