4 Ways That Rejection Makes You Stronger

Coat: Topshop (similar here and here); Jeans: Frame (similar here); Boots: Manolo Blahnik (similar here and here)

If there’s one thing I know really well, it’s rejection. I’ve been rejected so many times it’s not even funny. It’s part and parcel of working in the creative industry. And I’m all too familiar with that sinking feeling and then the anger that starts in your gut and sort of spreads through your veins until you want to throw a Hulk-like tantrum.

I’ve been rejected from jobs I’ve wanted, by brands I’ve loved, by guys I’ve had a crush on. But over the years, especially over the last 3 years in which I’ve had Icing & Glitter, I’ve gotten comfortable with rejection. It just doesn’t bother me the way it used to. Because I know that every rejection has shaped me into who I am today. If you step outside of your ego, rejection can be a positive thing. Here are 4 ways that rejection makes you stronger:

You Develop A Thick Skin
No matter what you’re doing in life, having a thick skin is incredibly valuable. And nothing teaches you to develop a thick skin like rejection. Here’s the thing, if you get rejected, you can cry about it, or you can dust yourself of and move on with your life. Get rejected enough times, you’re no longer phased by it. You get comfortable with the idea that rejection is nothing personal. What I’ve learned is that rejection doesn’t mean that I’m not good enough, it just means that the fit wasn’t right.

Thank God for rejection, it’s made me so much more zen.

It Fuels You To Be Better
You know that feeling when someone says you can’t do something, and you think ‘Just wait, I’ll show you’? Rejection is the fuel that fires us to be better. To prove that we can do something when everyone is saying we can’t do it.

There have been so many decisions I’ve made in my life which people have advised me against. People who love me. Because as supportive as they were, they just didn’t share my vision. But to be told that I couldn’t do something or that it was a bad idea only fuelled me to do it and prove everyone wrong.

Instead of taking rejection personally, allow it to motivate you.

It Makes You Ballsy
If being part of the creative industry has taught me anything, it’s to let go of my ego. Rejection is my middle name guys, and I’m not even ashamed to admit it. Rejection has made me realize that the worst possible scenario is a ‘no’, and that that scenario isn’t so bad after all.

Once I got over this fear of rejection, I started shooting for the stars. I’ve reached out to brands for my blog and people for my podcast who I would never have even attempted to ask in the past. And I do it fearlessly because I know that I’ll never know if I don’t try. Once you realize that ‘no’ is just not a big deal, you’ll start dreaming big. But here’s the good news: for every no, there’s be 5 yeses, and people will surprise you.

So if you’re holding back on your dreams due to a fear of rejection, throw that right out the window.

Rejection Is An Opportunity For Growth
Nobody is perfect, and sometimes rejection is the wake up call you need to realize that you’re doing that can be changed. For example, if you were rejected from a job after an interview, ask for feedback and see what you could have improved. Rejection, as painful as it can be at times, is also a very valuable opportunity for you to look internally and improve. It’s taught me to be kinder, to be more of a team player, and just realize that I’m human. Use the constructive criticism that comes with rejection and use it to grow as a human being. We all have flaws, and that’s okay!

Photography by Bekky Lonsdale